This is not a novelization or a script. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode "Prophecy Girl".

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What's she doing? Oh, no!

Which is I have to meet my terrible fate. His massage mutual touch vibrates off of the desk and smashes to pieces on the floor. I went hunting last night, and it is awfully sweet of you to ask. But I want more.

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I'll e-explain later. Buffy, Xander and Willow come out of the doors onto the balcony and head down the stairs.

Look, I'm not loving it. Cut inside to Xander and Willow sitting at a table. Opening credits roll. Meet someone now on the largest sex personals network — photos, chat, more!

Cut to the library. My time has come!

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Uh, Rupert Giles. The camera pans over to the skylight and looks in. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the episode "Prophecy Girl". And, oh, Aura needs help, um, moving the coolers. Cut to the park.

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Tomorrow at ten? You can practice on me some more. Cut to the Master's lair. A lot.

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It's getting hairy out there, Giles. Shake, Earth! Buffy's theme plays.

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The polls are in, and it's time for my concession speech. I'll see you then. The guys'll help me.

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Just kill me! He considers what he's just read for a moment and then reaches for his tea. Oh that's good!

A cat last week gave birth to a litter of snakes. Or if she is, she's playing it pretty close to the chest. I am bi so girls and guys can both apply!

Fuck buddy is giving you access to new, high quality content all the time. Cut to the roof of the library.

Married seeking like-minded friend.

I'm not really up to, uh, socializing just now. It's the computer age.

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I mean, I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you. That's okay.

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Oh, plus, I've got this, this crazy monk e-mailing me from Cortona about some Anointed One? You could go, 'hmm'.

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Who would be out there? Oh, God! Uh, Rupert Giles. He frowns at the sight of it as Buffy puts on an evil smile.